How To Determine If Someone Is A Real, True Friend

Michael K Personal Development, Relationships 13 Comments

“How can I determine whether or not someone is a real, true friend?”

It’s a question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives.

I mean no one wants to have fake friends right!

Life is just too short to spend it wasting our time with the wrong people.

What if there was a way to determine the qualities of someone who is a genuine friend?

What if we could evaluate ourselves to see if we qualified as one?

To help, let’s take a look at

How To Determine If Someone Is A Real, True Friend

1. See if they keep confidences. None of us want our business in the streets. A true friend knows how to keep your business out of them. They know when it’s time to speak and when to remain quiet. Real friends keep your private information private.

2. See if they have your back. A true friend knows how to celebrate your victories and won’t get jealous because of your success. They’ll encourage you when you need it and will pick you up when you’re down. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one…for if one falls, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls, and has no one to help him up!” In both the good times and the bad, real friends have your back no matter what.

3. See if they make you laugh. A true friend can make you laugh like no other person can. Laughter and jokes just flow naturally. Humor shared among real friends is like glue that cements the friendship over time.

4. See if they keep it real. Real friends tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not. They’re not just “YES” people. A true friend will say what needs to be said without passing judgment. Their words are rooted in love because they want to see you move forward.

5. See if they forgive you when you blow it. When you make a mistake, a true friend will extend you grace. Proverbs 17:17 says “A true friend loves at all times.” That means that real friends will love you when you’re right and love you when you’re wrong. A true friend doesn’t look down on you because of your past mistakes. They choose to see the potential in you and believe you can and will be better.

6. See if they accept you for you. We all have quirks. Those “things” about us that are weird and that others may not see. A real friend sees and knows these quirks yet they love us anyhow. They’ll never pressure you to be someone you’re not. They simply accept you for who you are.

7. See if they make time for you. Think about this for a second…if all of your social media accounts were deleted in an instance, who would still miss you enough to check in to see how you were doing? Your answer to that question will narrow down who may be your true friends. Real friends don’t need a News Feed to stay in touch with you. A true friend will make time to see how you’re doing—not because they have to but because they want to.

8. See if they care about you and what you love. A true friend will be concerned about you and about the things and people you love. Because you’re someone that matters to them, what matters to you will matter to them.

9. See if they share common interests. Whether it’s your love for college football or your passion for romantic comedies, real friends share common interests.

10. See if they invest in the friendship. True friends make investments into the friendship to keep it alive and healthy. A real friend isn’t just a taker. They’re also a giver. They will willingly give of themselves to invest in you…not because of what’s in it for them but because they want to see you win. A real friend is someone who’ll invest in you along your life’s journey and will be with you when you finally reach the top.

Now I’d love to hear what you think!

Are there any other qualities of a real, true friend that I missed?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

P.S. Due to an unforeseen glitch in my blog’s mailing list, some of you missed this week’s earlier post “How To Dig Yourself Out of Debt (And Deal With It Once & For All)”. For those that did, you can check it out by clicking here. Thanks!

Michael KHow To Determine If Someone Is A Real, True Friend

Comments 13

  1. Yolanda King

    Thanks for this awesome “fruit” checklist. I’ve observed that real, true friends are understanding of season changes in your life that require you to focus in on your family and self for a time. Real, true friends are still there when that season passes without being offended.

  2. Ashley Dark

    Great post MK! Not only does it help you to do an assessment on the people you call friends, but also on yourself as a friend and where you stand. Thanks for sharing this. It’s very helpful!

    1. Post
      Michael K

      Ashley you’re so welcome! It helped me too to evaluate the kind of friend I am to others & where I needed to step some things up!

  3. Christopher

    Great insight MK , I also believe we find out whether or not someone is a true friend when we say no it’s definitely a locator.

    1. Post
    1. Post
  4. Sharon W. Davis

    I know we are not suppose to be so hard on ourselves but this one really struck me. WOW,
    I am printing this so that I can review it daily. I have my work cut out for me, but it will be a good work. Thank Min. MK

    1. Post
  5. Valencia


    When you step back for a moment and use this guide to evaluate your “Friendships” it makes you realize:

    1. You can’t depend on your “Friends”
    like they can depend on you.

    2. You are being taken for granted.

    Thank you for the wake-up call….

  6. Debra Blaylock

    Wow I saw at least one quality that I need to beef up with someone that I consider a true friend . Investing more time in the relationship will be a priority for me this year. Thanks for the insight.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *